i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
