meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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