somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
