I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
