Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
