Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
