They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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