when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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