I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
