dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Found your dick twin last night
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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