I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
