Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
