Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dignity is for republicans.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
