I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
