bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
