it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
