i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
