jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
