this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
