We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I wear drunk well.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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