Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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