I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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