Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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