thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
