We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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