I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
