JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
