Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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