I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
