i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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