Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
