Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
