So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
id be glad to
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
