The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
