I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
