giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
