Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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