and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
