Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
