in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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