i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
