im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
