i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
