Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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