her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
