I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
