You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She is in my trunk
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
