8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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