He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
