I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
