It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
